He says he can’t leave his wife.
But you’ve been with him for years, and you’re tired of being the other woman.
Maybe he has never said he loves you, or maybe he’s flaked on you every time you tried to meet his family.
You want to know why this is happening, but don’t know how to ask without seeming insecure or clingy.
You aren’t alone.
Plenty of women have gone through what you are going through right now.
If it’s important for you to know about the reasons why your guy won’t leave his wife, then this blog post is for you.
Here are 17 reasons why your man might not be leaving his wife anytime soon.
1) He’s not ready to leave his wife.
It’s hard to leave the person you’ve been with for years and have children with.
That doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in you, but it does mean that he might not be ready to jump ship just yet.
If your relationship is worth fighting for then there will be no problem waiting until later on down the line when his family situation has changed or something else happens that makes him feel more confident about leaving her behind.
This is a decision that he needs to make on his own, and you need to respect that because this could potentially affect your future together too if things don’t work out between the two.
2) He doesn’t want to be alone.
You might think of your man as being weak, but sometimes men don’t want to be alone more than they want anything else in the world.
If your man is afraid of being without a partner or without his family, then he might not be ready to leave his wife.
Men are emotional beings and need companionship just like women do – it’s only natural that we would feel lonely if our significant other leaves us for someone new (or even worse, doesn’t love us anymore).
It can take time for some people to get over their fears when they’re left on their own with no one by their side who loves them unconditionally; these feelings may last years after the break-up before finally dissipating completely.
3) He thinks that you won’t leave him if he doesn’t leave his wife.
A lot of men think that if they’re in a relationship with a woman, they’re in control of the situation.
He might think that you’ll stick around even though he’s married because you won’t want to lose him.
That doesn’t mean he’s right, but it does mean that you need to make it clear to him that nothing is going to change until he leaves his wife for good.
The idea behind this statement is as follows: Men often believe women will stay and be faithful because she loves them more than their wives do; however, this isn’t true at all times or places.
There are many factors that determine how much one person cares about another individual (e.g., sex).
Furthermore, sometimes people don’t care what happens outside their own relationships – so long as both parties are happy inside theirs then there should be no problems.
4) He wants to keep the status quo and not rock the boat.
Your man might be afraid of making changes in his life because he’s afraid of the unknown.
He’s been in a relationship with his wife for a long time, and he might not be ready to leave and start over again.
If this is the case, then you have to decide if you’re willing to wait until he is ready, or if you need to move on by finding someone else who will love him as much as your married boyfriend does.
You might be waiting around a long, long time. And, while you’re waiting you’re missing out on the potential of meeting someone else who doesn’t come with terms and conditions.
You need to make the decision ultimately.
5) He doesn’t want to be lonely.
It’s easier for people to stay where they are than it is for them to change their lives and their situations.
Your man might think that by leaving his wife he’ll be alone forever, and that might scare him more than anything else in the world.
If this is the case, then you need to show him that he doesn’t have to be alone and that you won’t leave him.
You can do this by showing your support through various ways: being there when needed emotionally or physically; providing a listening ear; lending an objective perspective on things (without judging); sharing similar interests with your partner so as not only will they never feel like they’re missing out but also because these shared interests can introduce new activities into both of your lives.
6) He doesn’t want to deal with the stigma of being divorced.
Your man might not want his friends and family to think that he’s “less than” because he’s divorced, or that he’s not a good person for leaving his wife.
He might also not be ready to deal with the stigma of being single at his age or dealing with all of the changes that come along with dating again.
If this is the case, then you have to decide if you’re willing to be part of a stigmatized relationship, or if you need to walk away.
When it comes down between your happiness and what others say about him in regards as how much worth they see him having based on who he is now versus who they remember him as before divorce/relationship change – there are no right answers here; only personal choices made by each individual involved which will ultimately affect their future relationships (or lack thereof).
7) He doesn’t see any reason why he should leave his wife at the moment.
Your man might not be leaving his wife because he doesn’t see a reason to. He’s happy in his marriage, and he might not see anything wrong with it, so why should he leave it?
He’s got his bread buttered on both sides. He’s got you on the one hand who boosts his ego, satisfies him sexually and a wife at home that’s running the household, seeing to the children, and keeping the family going.
He’s happy living two lives. Two lives that will remain separate and will never cross paths.
So, does he feel guilty? Absolutely, however, he will always justify his actions to quell his conscience.
If this is the case, then you have to decide if you’re willing to wait for him to see a reason or if you need to move on.
8) He doesn’t want to hurt anyone else by leaving his wife.
Your man might not want to hurt his wife or kids by leaving them behind.
If this is the case, then you have to decide if you’re willing to wait for him or if you need to walk away from him entirely.
You can’t make him leave his family, and you can’t make him leave his wife, so it would be best for both of your lives if he did find a way out of this situation before things got worse than they already are.
Marriage is more than a bond between a husband and a wife. Two entire families are involved and each side will experience a great deal of hurt if he decides to divorce his wife.
9) He’s afraid of the unknown future.
Your man might be afraid of the unknown future and what it holds for him and his family.
If this is the case, then you have to decide if you’re willing to wait until he’s ready, or if you need to move on.
Your man might be afraid of the unknown future and what it holds for him and his family. If this is the case, then you have to decide if you’re willing to wait until he’s ready, or if you need to move on.
The decision will depend largely upon how much time has passed since your relationship started taking place in a comfortable environment with no pressure from outside sources (e.g., work).
In general, people tend not to want their relationships out of balance when they are at an early stage because there isn’t enough information about whether things can continue that way as life progresses.
10) He doesn’t want to hurt you.
Your man might not want to hurt you by leaving his wife, and he might be afraid that if he does leave, you won’t be there for him.
Or, he just doesn’t have any inclination of leaving her and he doesn’t want to hurt you by telling you the truth.
If this is the case, then you have to decide if you’re willing to wait for him or if you need to move on.
11) He’s not ready for the changes that come along with dating again.
Your man might not be ready to date again because he’s not ready for all of the changes that come along with it.
If this is the case, then you have to decide if you’re willing to wait for him or if you need to move on.
You can’t change his mind or make him deal with all of these changes, so you might have to let go of him and walk away from your relationship.
The mere thought of joining the dating game again is not for the faint-hearted, so it might be a scary thought for a married man to have to go through the entire process again, especially if he feels you might not be “the one” for him.
12) He doesn’t want his kids growing up without him.
Your man might not want his kids to grow up without him in their lives, so he’s choosing to stay with his wife for their sake.
If this is the case, then you have to decide if you’re willing to wait for him or if you need to move on.
Divorce is an awful part of life and causes major damage to children. If your married boyfriend has kids, he probably has a lot going on in his mind about the possible ramifications on how it will affect them.
He might also come from a broken home and he is trying to shield his children from experiencing the same hurt.
13) He’s afraid of losing you, too.
Your man might not want to leave his marriage because he doesn’t want to risk losing you as well.
It’s a huge concern. He might think that the moment he leaves his wife, you’ll see him for what he really is and do the same. He could fear that leaving his wife puts him in a scenario where it’s lose, lose.
If you have no intention of doing so, talk to him about it. Support him and reassure him that you’re not going to abandon him if he decides to take the plunge.
It sounds like your guy is struggling with what decision would be best so it’s up to either of your hands now…
14) The timing is never right.
Your man might not want to leave his marriage because he doesn’t feel ready yet. After all, he’s living two different lives and he might not see any rush in making such a rash decision.
He may just need more time before making such a big step and that takes patience from both parties – which means waiting out whatever amount of time
You need to ask yourself if you’re prepared to wait it out, rather end things and move on with your life.
15) He doesn’t keep his promises to you
He doesn’t have time for you or your relationship because he is too busy with his work and family.
He tells you that he will call you, but doesn’t.
You tell him that you love him and want to spend more time with him, but he makes excuses why he can’t.
He tells you that he will be coming over to see you, but gets called out of town on business by his boss at the last minute.
16) He talks about big plans but never takes action.
You know what I mean. He tells you that he’s going to take you on a tropical vacation and you want to believe it so bad, but, it’s pie in the sky.
Or, he talks about taking you on a weekend getaway but when the time comes, something always seems to come up and he flakes on you.
When someone is flaking out or not following through with their promises of things they say will happen in future dates or times then this can be frustrating for people who are trying hard enough as is because life doesn’t seem fair sometimes!
So if somebody says they’re going to do something big like move into your house tomorrow (or next week) and doesn’t follow through then there may be some underlying issues.
17) You don’t get introduced to anyone important to him.
You know the score.
He always says things like “wow, my mom is going to love you! ” or, “My business partner is going to get on so well with you but you never meet these people. He’s still hiding you from them.
He always introduces you to others as “his friend”. He’s still sneaking around.
You’re a dirty little secret and he still thinks he can keep it that way for now.
Secondly, if he were to introduce you to these people, then you’d be on a very short list of women who’ve been introduced to these people and that means – if they don’t like you – they’ll know what’s going on and will almost certainly say something to him.
This means it will be harder for him to keep up the charade of pretending you’re just friends and nothing more.
Would a married man ever leave his wife?
We all know that a man who is already married will not easily leave his wife for a single woman.
But there are men who did leave their wives and got married to the women they were dating
There’s never a textbook answer as each situation comes with a unique set of circumstances.
They are not all the same, but they have things in common. These men have what is called “character”.
What makes these men different from other men? What makes them so sure that they can leave their wives?
Why do they decide to leave them anyway? What happened to their families after they left? What are the consequences of leaving your family behind? Are they really happy with the woman they left their wives for?
The answers to these questions are not a secret.
There is a reason why these men left their wives and the reasons have something to do with the women they are dating.
There is something about them that makes those men leave their families for them. In most cases, this “something” is sex appeal.
These women have something special that makes them irresistible and hard to resist.
But there are also other reasons why men leave their wives for another woman besides sex appeal.
They leave because of infidelity, abuse, neglect, or abandonment by the wife or all of these things together.
Some men leave because they found out that they were married to someone they thought she was. Or, perhaps they’ve just outgrown each other.
A married man will leave his wife if he is unhappy with her, if he doesn’t love her anymore and if he feels that his marriage is not worth fighting for anymore. The same thing goes for a woman who wants to leave her husband.
There are many different reasons why a married person would want to end their marriage and they are all valid reasons.
No one can tell you what’s right or wrong when it comes to marriage because everyone has their own opinions about it.
It all depends on the people involved in the relationship and what makes them happy and content with each other.
What to do next.
It might be the right time to give your married boyfriend an ultimatum.
But you can decide to tell him that you are willing to wait for him as long as it takes.
You can also tell him that if he chooses to do otherwise, then you will have no choice but to walk away from the relationship.
Here’s the bottom line though…
If he is not willing to leave his wife, then you really need to ask yourself if you are willing to continue this relationship.
You can’t force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. You have no control over that.
So if he is unwilling to leave his wife, then you have a decision of your own to make, and that decision should be based on whether or not you are willing to continue in this relationship under the current circumstances.
If he doesn’t choose you, you must leave him and let go. If someone isn’t in your life for the right reasons, it’s time to move on. There are countless people out there who want a relationship with somebody like you; all they need is for you to give them that chance.
Conclusion
When someone doesn’t have the courage to leave their current relationship, it is a clear indication that they are not in love with you but in love with the convenience of you.
A man who truly wants you will move heaven and earth to be with you, this includes leaving his wife.
If he just can’t seem to leave and continually makes excuses as to why he can’t, then it means that you are just an option for him, and if something better comes along, he will have no problem in leaving you like a sack of hot potatoes.
You deserve way more so walking away might be your best option.
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FAQs
Can a married man love another woman? ›
You may be asking, “can a married man fall in love with another woman?” If so, the answer is a resounding yes. And a married woman can fall in love with another man too! Naturally, there are all the other possible combinations. A married man falls in love with another man or a married woman with another woman.
How do you tell if a man no longer loves his wife? ›- He's no longer affectionate with you.
- He spends a lot of time alone or out of the house.
- He doesn't really engage in conversation with you anymore.
- He's become closed off.
- He no longer goes out of his way to care for your relationship.
- Identify what's changed.
Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.
How do you know if a man truly loves you in a relationship? ›If your boyfriend loves you, he will treat you with respect. That means that he listens to you and cares about what's going on in your life. He notices the little things that you like and goes out of his way to give them to you. He values you as a person, and he genuinely listens to your opinions.
Why is a married man attracted to another woman? ›The majority of married men flirt to feed their desire of being wanted. Even though he's married, he wants confirmation that he's still attractive, not just within his married life. He wants and needs a boost to his self-esteem, ego, and confidence. It may be that he doesn't feel wanted or desired by his wife.
What are the signs your husband doesn't love you? ›- Increase in demand for personal space. ...
- Decrease in communication or 'we' time. ...
- Sudden increase in unrealistic expectations. ...
- Constant arguments and fights. ...
- Relinquished efforts and interest from his end. ...
- Sex is missing. ...
- Lack of affection. ...
- He is cold and distant.
- Don't be there all the time. ...
- Show small gestures of love. ...
- Take care of your own needs. ...
- Let him take care of his own needs. ...
- Don't act desperate. ...
- Show you believe in him. ...
- Allow him to take the initiative. ...
- Ensure quality time when you both meet.
- Lack of Sexual Intimacy. ...
- Frequently Feeling Angry with Your Spouse. ...
- Dreading Spending Alone-Time Together. ...
- Lack of Respect. ...
- Lack of Trust. ...
- Disliking Your Spouse. ...
- Visions of the Future Do Not Include Your Spouse.
Toxic relationships, being used, feeling emotionally spent, or meeting someone new could also contribute to what makes a man leave his wife. A wife left behind may be wondering what happened to her once happy relationship. Going to couples counseling and communicating with her husband may help save the marriage.
How can you tell if a guy is heartbroken? ›- He doesn't want to see you.
- He still pleads with you for a second chance.
- He tries to avoid other women.
- He flirts with many women.
- His posts on social media are sad and depressing.
- He tries to get busy.
- He starts drinking.
- He stops socializing.
Why does a man stay in an unhappy marriage? ›
Fear. The threat of physical violence, further emotional abuse, harming your children by depriving them of a nuclear family, and concern about how friends and family will perceive them are commonly-cited reasons why people may choose to stay in an unhappy marriage.
What are signs of cheating husband? ›- Having an Irregular Work Schedule. ...
- New Hobbies. ...
- Unexplained Expenses. ...
- Loss of Sexual Interest. ...
- Changed or Added Passwords on his Devices. ...
- Taking Care of the Car Too Much. ...
- Buying Gifts. ...
- Stays Out all Night and Often Unreachable.
Women fall in love when their dopamine and oxytocin levels reach a certain level. Men need a certain level of dopamine, vasopressin and testosterone to fall in love, but they also need to create new receptors that can absorb this new level, and it takes time.
How does a man act when he falls deeply in love? ›When he's falling in love, everything is likely to become about her. He can't stop thinking about her and would rather be spending time with her than doing anything else. He may feel scared about the relationship and where it's headed, or he might just have a comfortable feeling about the entire thing.
How does a man show his love without saying it? ›For example, he holds your hand, has his arms around you, hugs you, always sit close to you, etc. 2- He puts a lot of efforts to make you feel loved. He brings random gifts for you, sings a song for you on a special day, makes time to talk to you anyhow, makes sudden plans, etc. 3- He always listens to you properly.
How do you know if a guy loves you more than you do? ›- They love you in the way that they receive love, but not the way that you do. ...
- They make you a priority. ...
- You're the first person they turn to. ...
- They're thinking about you when you're not together. ...
- They're thoughtful.
Expressing a romantic or sexual interest towards a person outside of your marriage is not only inappropriate flirting, but disrespectful. The spouse typically sees it this way unless you're in an open relationship in which seeking other partners is agreed upon as acceptable.
Can a happily married man fall in love with someone else? ›Having a crush on someone else when you're married doesn't mean that you're a bad person. It also is not a reflection of your marriage. Believe it or not, having a crush may not mean anything at all. In fact, people in happy, healthy, committed relationships can still develop fluttery feelings for attractive others.
Why would a married man flirt? ›A married man flirting may just be having fun, or he may enjoy being found attractive and get a boost to his self-esteem in the process. He may also be simply seeking to manipulate the relationship toward a non-sexual goal, such as conforming to a permissive work environment or securing a political ally.
What is red flag in relationship? ›Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
How can I make him miss me desperately? ›
- 01/6Tips to make your man miss you. ...
- 02/6Be mysterious enough. ...
- 03/6Have a fun time without him. ...
- 04/6Make him feel a little bit jealous. ...
- 05/6Don't reply to his calls or texts immediately. ...
- 06/6Don an addictive smell.
A 2002 study found that two-thirds of unhappy adults who stayed together were happy five years later. They also found that those who divorced were no happier, on average, than those who stayed together. In other words, most people who are unhappily married—or cohabiting—end up happy if they stick at it.
Who usually ends a marriage? ›A study led by the American Sociological Association determined that nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. And the percentage of college-educated American women who initiated divorce is even higher.
What three grounds could end a marriage? ›According to various studies, the three most common causes of divorce are conflict, arguing, irretrievable breakdown in the relationship, lack of commitment, infidelity, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.
Why do guys always come back? ›There are several reasons regarding what makes a man come back after a breakup. He may have changed his mind and wants to date you again, or he may feel like he messed up when he left you. It is possible that his other plans didn't work out the way he thought they would.
What do men want out of a wife? ›Like women, men want a life partner who will be trustworthy, faithful and reliable. They want a wife who will stand by their side and, considering divorce rates, it's no surprise that dependability would continue to be attractive.
How do you know when a man is done with the relationship? ›He becomes easily irritable and lashes out at every small thing, especially if he used to be a lovely person. He's closed off emotionally from you. You feel as though reaching him for a heart-to-heart has become mission impossible. He tries to stay away from anything that reminds him of the relationship.
When a man is fighting his feelings for you? ›His behavior is inconsistent
Another way to tell that he is probably fighting feelings for you is if his behavior is inconsistent. He may be flirtatious and showing off one minute, then acting all awkward and shy the next. Or he may be attentive and then suddenly ignore you.
SHOW THAT HE CAN TRUST YOU
“Stay consistent with your behavior, and make sure you do what you say you're going to do, and be transparent about your feelings to keep the trust between you strong,” she advises. Tripp Kramer, Dating Coach for Men, agrees. “A man will stay committed when he can trust his partner.”
This type of husband is someone who looks after his own needs ahead of his spouse. He does not take into account the feelings and needs of his spouse as long as his own are met. As a result, his wife feels neglected and disrespected. You might think that it is easy to spot a selfish husband.
Why do people stay in relationships if they are unhappy? ›
Some existing research has suggested that people may find it hard to let go of partners who make them unhappy because they are afraid of being single . Other studies note that people are more likely to stay in a relationship if they perceive that the effort their partner puts into its success matches their own.
What are 3 signs of a cheating spouse? ›- Improved appearance. ...
- Secretive phone or computer use. ...
- Periods where your significant other is unreachable. ...
- Significantly less, or more, or different sex in your relationship. ...
- Your partner is hostile toward you and your relationship. ...
- An altered schedule.
- Altered Schedule. If working late is suddenly a new normal even though your partner's job doesn't really require it, they may not be telling the truth about where they are.
- Uncomfortable Friends. The friends of the cheating partner usually know about it before you do. ...
- Inconsistent Expenses. ...
- False Accusations of Cheating.
There are consistent associations between infidelity and each of the Big 5 traits. For example, people who cheat in romantic relationships score higher on Neuroticism, Openness to Experience, and Extraversion. They score lower on Agreeableness and Conscientiousness.
How can you make a man love you forever? ›- Surprise him to show that you care.
- Try new things together.
- Touch him often.
- Make efforts to show you love him every day.
- Let him know that you're grateful for him.
- Build him up and don't put him down.
- Be consistent.
- Listen to him when he needs to talk.
- Be his best friend. ...
- Be spontaneous and playful. ...
- Give him his space. ...
- Never bring up his past in fights. ...
- Be vocal about what you want from your man. ...
- Never go for the silent treatment. ...
- Compliment him often. ...
- Be wild in bed.
He feels like a super hero. The feeling that females still crave for him or there is a lady (other than his wife) who is madly in love with him and cares for him. Some men want to know and feel they are worthy of love. They also need to show off this relationship of love.
What makes a man happy in marriage? ›Respect him
You have married him for his qualities, and you like so many things about him. He deserves your respect. Respect is of the utmost importance in a strong relationship. Mutual respect and support make a happy husband, happy home.